March 18, 2016
5:00am every morning the alarm goes off. The blare of the alarm reminds me that it is time to start a new day. All the possibilities, all the energy. I jump our of bed, get the dog and head out to take on the world. I pride my self in saying that I am not a “snoozer,” every day is a new exciting challenge and I don’t want to miss it.
Lately the alarm has been signalling a yearning to just stay put. The desire to jump out of bed and say hello is less and less appealing. Even 1 month ago when we were under a blizzard warning I was out before the snow came and rand 3 miles. But now, this week, when the weather is nice and life is good, I am sleeping past my alarm.
Why is it? Is it the stress of the students? They are always the same right before a break. Is it the family? All is well with the family- kids are good, life is good. I am just not quite sure.
As I type I start to think and I hate to put blame on anyone other than myself for not being mentally strong. I am very excitable and take on the energy of the room. So if there is negative energy I tend to feel it and try to change it. I try to change everything. My kids, I try to fix situation for them. Friends, they have a problem “Yo, I’ll solve it.” I just can’t explain it.
Today is Mental Health day. I have never had one. But I surly need it. I have read my past few posts and realize that no good could come of another day of “more of the same.” To day I will take care of me, make sure that I am well so that I might be able to help others. Could I have held on for just 1 more week and then off to Spring Break. However, should I stretch myself until I break or do I take a time, to be reflective and realize I am human and need to yell “uncle.”
Here is to a day where I can repair. I look forward to more positive writing, more challenging adventure, but I need to repair first. Have a good one.